Coaching ChroniCals

  Listening. Sounds easy… but it really isn’t. Reflecting on the core competency of “Listens Actively”, it dawned on me how little we (by we I’m really just referring to myself) pay attention to the different nuances in somebody’s communication. There’s so much involved and so much to “listen” to in a conversation but when we do pay attention, it helps us, the coach better support our client. I’m going to summarise my reflections on the Listens Actively Core Competency in the following 3 points: 1. Filters – Everyone communicates through “filters”. We’re all different in our upbringing, cultural background, we have different values and beliefs, all these shapes our perspectives. All these show up in the way we speak and the way we listen. Being aware of these filters helps us be better listeners. As a coach we need to be aware of how the coachee’s filters are shaping what is being said and likewise, how our own filters could be “distorting” what a coachee is saying. Paying attent...

It’s been said that the best gift you can give someone, is your presence. But what is “presence” and how does one “maintain” presence? How does one practice “maintaining presence”? ICF defines the competency as being “fully conscious and present with the client, employing a style that is open, flexible, grounded and confident”. While it sounds simple on the surface, I believe there is so much more that meets the eye.  To be present in any situation and for us to be “fully conscious and present with the client” requires us to basically be: 1. mindful 2. focused and engaged in the here and now 3. in a state of calm 4. in a receptive state of mind 5. paying attention to what’s going on 6. without distractions, without wanting to be somewhere else, without being lost in thought Being present, I must admit, is quite a challenge for me, let alone maintain it! And it’s a challenge because I’m easily distracted and surrounded by distractions! However, I believe it is possible a...

Trust is a core ingredient in all successful and thriving relationships. It is the foundation that allows us to feel safe, without it, we won’t have a coaching relationship. Without it, we don’t have anything. It’s a crucial element in any relationship, I believe  it’s something  fundamental but yet so delicate. I’ve personally experienced the devastation of having trust broken and for those of us who’ve experienced anything similar, we know, it’s not something easy to mend. Trust in a coaching relationship allows the client to feel safe to open up, to be vulnerable, and to be themselves. For a coaching relationship to thrive and be successful, it is therefore crucial not just to build trust, but to maintain it. How then do we build trust? And how do we maintain it? I believe all relationships begin with some level of trust, and what we do and say during the course of our interactions will determine if the trust level will grow or decline. Building trust requires repeated posi...

I had an idea that some form of agreement was probably required in a coaching engagement, but I had underestimated the value of it, until the topic was covered. Looking at the description of this core competency by ICF, “Partners with the client and relevant stakeholders to create clear agreements about the coaching relationship, process, plans and goals. Establishes agreements for the overall coaching engagement as well as those for each coaching session.”, the agreement is really to enable all parties involved to have a successful partnership. It sets the ground rules for the coaching relationship so that all parties involve know their obligations. The ICF further details 11 "reasons" an agreement is needed, I will attempt to summarise them in 4. 1. Creates clarity on expectations – An agreement provides clarity on the scope of a coaching engagement. It spells out what is expected from all parties involved, what coaching will entail and what it will not, how each session w...

  As I pondered on the second competency of “Embodies a Coaching Mindset”, I began to wonder about what the meaning of the word “Embodies”. One definition I found read, “to give bodily form to; make corporeal; incarnate, to give definite, tangible, or visible form to; make concrete”. As I reflected on the definition, I thought that this competency really is the difference between doing coaching and being a coach.  ICF defines this competency as “Develops and maintains a mindset that is open, curious, flexible and client-centered”. In practice, this means being fully present and being engaged with clients’, actively listening to them, and asking powerful questions that helps us and the client to gain insights into themselves and their challenges. It also means being flexible and adaptable, recognizing that each client is unique and that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to coaching. The 7 principles guiding this competency are as follows; 1. Acknowledges that clients are...

  What are ethics and why are they important? The Oxford dictionary defines ethics as “moral principles that govern a person's behaviour or the conducting of an activity.” In a self-regulated industry such coaching where, the approach and style of coaching can differ from one person to another, ethical principles become even more important.  The core competency, Demonstrates Ethical Practice defined as “Understands and consistently applies coaching ethics and standards of coaching” by ICF lays down 7 principles: 1. Demonstrates personal integrity and honesty in interactions with clients, sponsors and relevant stakeholders. – Having integrity means living in accordance to your deepest values, being honest, and always keeping your word. Integrity also means always doing the right thing, even when nobody is watching. Interacting with integrity and honesty, to me means protecting the interest of all parties involved at all times while being honest and respectful. 2. Is sensitive ...

As I began to ponder on the topic of “Principles of a Great Coach” at the end of my third session of the Catalyst Coach Certification, I thought that it isn’t about me being a “Great Coach”, but it’s about the “qualities” of “greatness” that I should try to exemplify. Becoming a great coach isn’t about amplifying myself, but abandoning my judgement and advancing the agenda of the client. The greatness of a coach is shown through works and actions, and the way in which a coach impacts the lives of others.  Seven Principles were shared with us: 1. Believes in Human Potential 2. Builds Self-Esteem 3. Validates Understanding 4. Challenges Reality 5. Expands Options 6. Inspires Action 7. BE the Coach As I reflect on these principles and how they would guide my behaviour and relationship with my coaching clients, if there was one word I could use to summarise them, it would be, Belief. The belief that each person has the potential and ability to achieve their goals and helping them belie...

I’ve always thought of myself as a problem solver. I enjoy solving puzzles, mending broken things, finding ways around an obstacle… you name it, I’ll fix it (or try at least). I love a good challenge; I’d fixate on a problem until it’s fixed! (or at least until my enthusiasm runs out). Reflecting on lessons from Coaching 101 made me realise, when it comes to coaching, we “fixate” on the person, NOT the problem. “Coach the person, not the problem”, echoes in my head. I learned that it’s simply because, people have insights, problems don’t.   So how do you coach a person? I’m still learning but picked up a few pointers during the session. 1.    Clarity – There must be clarity on the objectives of coaching. What are we trying to achieve? 2.    Care – The person we’ll be coaching, needs care. We need to be concerned for them, and their well-being. The focus is on the person, not the problem. 3.    Forward – We want to help the coachee move f...

Coaching Module #1: What is Coaching? Excited to begin this new journey in 2023, I'm glad I finally took the plunge and signed up for the programme. Module one kicked-off with everyone taking turns to introduce themselves and wow! what an interesting group of people (though some believe themselves to be boring 😅)... from web designers to educators, from Singapore to Abu Dhabi. I'm truly honoured to be part of Cohort 10, looking forward to getting to know everyone a little better in the coming weeks. As I reflect on the first module, and the many lessons that were taught, a song by Michael Jackson, Man in the Mirror, came to mind. The chorus of the song goes as follows: I'm starting with the man in the mirror I'm asking him to change his ways And no message could've been any clearer If they wanna make the world a better place Take a look at yourself and then make a change And I thought, the words in the chorus, really sum up module one for me. As I embark on this jo...