Presence



It’s been said that the best gift you can give someone, is your presence.


But what is “presence” and how does one “maintain” presence? How does one practice “maintaining presence”?

ICF defines the competency as being “fully conscious and present with the client, employing a style that is open, flexible, grounded and confident”. While it sounds simple on the surface, I believe there is so much more that meets the eye. 

To be present in any situation and for us to be “fully conscious and present with the client” requires us to basically be:
1. mindful
2. focused and engaged in the here and now
3. in a state of calm
4. in a receptive state of mind
5. paying attention to what’s going on
6. without distractions, without wanting to be somewhere else, without being lost in thought

Being present, I must admit, is quite a challenge for me, let alone maintain it! And it’s a challenge because I’m easily distracted and surrounded by distractions! However, I believe it is possible and beneficial, especially in a coaching context. This got me thinking about is needed to hone this competency of “Maintains Presence”.

I concluded that it begins with a choice, I have to be deliberate about wanting to be present. I’ve got to want it, I’ve got to be deliberate. If there is no desire, nothing I do will make a difference… it would be meaningless.

Next, I have to be aware of my emotional, mental and physical state, be aware of what triggers me, what makes me uncomfortable, and what distracts me. Self-awareness helps brings us to a state where we are able to identify and deal with our own troubles, desires and needs. I need to practice this more. 

To be effective in being present with others, I first need to learn to be present with myself.

Being present builds trust with the client which is key in effective coaching conversations. Trust enables the client to share certain critical and sensitive information which the client could otherwise find difficult to share. Being present also helps coaches listen better and helps us pick up keywords spoken by the client, allowing us to ask thought-provoking questions. 

Being present isn’t always easy, but it’s something that we can certainly practice. It is something that will definitely help build a better and stronger relationship between client and coach.

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