Filters and Styles


We each perceive reality differently. Our backgrounds, culture, upbringing and experiences, shapes the lenses we look through, and ultimately affects the way we “interpret” the world around us. I believe there is no “right” or “wrong” lenses, it’s just different and these different lenses are what makes each of us unique in our own way.

Reflecting on this and its relevance to coaching, I’m reminded that I need to be aware of the lenses I’m looking through and how it “colours” the person I’m coaching and how it might “filter” what I hear. On the same note, the coachee themselves have their own lenses and filters through which they experience the world and while I can’t change their lenses and filter, I should do my best to empathise.

I’m therefore, mindful that I have to make a conscious effort to not allow my “lenses” and “filters” affect my perception of the coachee, lest I appear judgemental and unempathetic. 

This had me reflecting on what I can do to try and overcome these potential barriers to an effective coaching session… and I thought the following might help.

1. Be aware – Someone once shared with the the ABC’s to effective change, which is Awareness Before Change. Changing the “lenses” in which I see others, or the “filters” that I hear them with, requires me to first be aware of the “lenses” and “filters” I have on. I won’t be able to remove or change “lenses” and “filters” I’m unaware of.

2. Be open minded – Being open minded allows me to consider the perspective of the coachee, allowing them to freely express their views and beliefs, even when I do not necessarily agree with those views.

3. Be curious – Being curious here is 2-fold. 

i. While being curious could be misread as being nosy, but in this context, I feel it is necessary, not so that things make sense to me as the coach, but to help raise the coachee’s awareness of their filters and how that it could possibly be affecting their view of their situation. 

ii. Coaches being aware and understanding their own filters is as important as understanding the filters in which coachees process information. Being curious about this can help me as the coach communicate better with the coachee.

Our lenses shape the way we see and experience the world, it shapes our reality. A Dr. Linda Humphreys said it best, “Perception is merely a lens or mindset from which we view people, events, and things. In other words, we believe what we perceive to be accurate, and we create our own realities based on those perceptions. And although our perceptions feel very real, that doesn't mean they are factual.” 


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